This is old. Indifference?

An abrupt reluctance to associate myself with the living and sense of reclusive desire forbid further conversation. I don't recognize myself anymore, and I begin to wonder if there's a time in everyone's life where this occurs. Pictures of memories are memories of another lifetime; of a life that was never mine. An empty void that once was only a mere fraction of my body has overtaken and spread throughout me. Now, I am nothing more than an empty casket of flesh. I've lost all sense of time. Every moment is another endless nightmare of continuous torture. Every moment is a lost thought, an emotionless love that faded. Moments are timeless. Although each second feels like several days, the days are empty and meaningless.. each passing moment seems as hopeless as the last. Whirlpools of logic less thoughts run through my mind as I witness the world pass me by. I let it pass me by. My thoughts are often silent and unheard. No one can understand me, I won't let anyone understand. This feeling is to unbearable for me to accept it as common . No one can feel this like I do. These feelings isolate me and set me apart from the rest. I see the hands that hold mine, but I do not feel the flesh. I witness this world, my world, go on as though I’ve dreamt it. My dreams are endless and exhausting. I'm left with less energy than before my rest. The night is never long enough, and the days are just waiting for the night. I wish I could sleep myself to happiness. I like to think of myself as handling this situation with honorary standards, but I know I let myself moap into depression. But even as I try to escape the feelings I face, I'm left with the same depressive emotions I feel otherwise. I have no will to go on, no determination to succeed. I accept my failures as they've become frequent. Conversations are just words without thought. Orders are another argument, another headache. Hunger emerges from the often overlooked space inside my stomach. I never struggle to fill every last molecule with unhealthy and destructive food. I eat my feelings away. It passes the time. There is constant hunger I can’t ignore; sudden addictions and cravings I can no longer resist. I’ve lost my self control. I’ve got no will to control. I’m just there, aimlessly floating among the world. I ramble in my mind with phrases that don’t make sense. But they do. They make complete sense. To me. Everything I knew, I don’t know anymore. I forgot. I forgot everything. All knowledge that pumped my mind, all talents I once had, have vanished along with my desires. My eyes know how to lie to others. I know how to pretend I'm okay. I'm always okay. How are you? Fantastic. I'm fantastic. I can be confident and fearless, as emotions are unfound. I can be cold and harsh, as my anger is bound to my soul. Each weekday awaits the weekend and each weekend awaits a plan. The plans come and go, and are lost in time. Along with me. I get lost in time. I get lost in the moments. They're so blank and empty. I'm so blank and empty. I forget the moment before, I forget the moment of. I lose the next moment while inside my mind, traveling through it. I don't know when this will end. I'm dead inside.